Why use extracts, when you can use the real deal?!

People who know me well, know that I can be a bit of a snob as relates to my margaritas and wines. Oh, and chocolates. Alright, food - LOL. Who doesn't love an authentic meal, I ask you?!

So when it comes to baking and creating flavors, I'm just as persnickety. I truly do dream flavors. Sometimes I'll taste something and go oooooooo....wouldn't THIS be good in a cake?! And off to flavor wonderland I go. So, what about all those flavor extracts???? And especially the ones that are alcohol flavored. Grand Marnier for example? To pun a phrase "There's an extract for that". With the multitude of extracts that are now available, one could start a mini lab. A drop of this, a dollop of that.

Did you know that about 99% of ALL extracts are alcohol based??? Hmmmmm....sooooo if THEY are alcohol based, why not just use the real deal? It's alcohol too, right? RIGHT!!!!!!! What about the fruity citrusy flavors; Lemon, Orange and the like? Again, why go fake?

Vanilla extract, historically is used to sort of bring the cake flavor to a nice balance. But I bet you that historically, Vanilla as we know it now, was QUITE different. No alcohol to preserve or dilute it, a more pure and stronger flavor. TRULY extracted from the beans therefore much more concentrated.

We unfortunately have become a society who accepts and indulges in fraudulent flavors. Our poor, poor taste buds have been distorted!!! Can you imagine what it must taste like to use fresh fruit purees, juices or liquors?

HOW do you do this, you ask?  SIMPLE! Unless you're using Vanilla Bean Paste (and lots of it) FUGGEDABOUTIT! Replace Vanilla with....juice from maraschino cherries, pineapple juice, Grand Marnier, Kirsch, Bailey's...WHATEVA.  HOW you ask? Well, a typical cake formula calls for a measly 1 tsp of Vanilla. WHO'S gonna taste that??!!! START with about 2 or 3 TBS! Taste your batter, if ya can't taste it, it ain't enough! Trust me, you'll be ok. Just don't go beyond about 1/4 cup of liquid. Beyond that and you may need to make adjustments to your formula.

Still need more flavor? No worries. You can puree about 1/4 of fruit and add it to your batter; Make a nice fruit puree to put between the layers. Bananas are especially good as are chopped apples. Any kind of berry makes a delicious puree and the left over can be made into either a sorbet or added to a simple syrup and poured on pancakes, waffles, biscuits or people! (jus' sayin).  That simple syrup can also be added to certain kinds of  icings.

There are a myriad of things you can do to get out of the flavor extract zone. And hey, if you screw it up, so what, it's still edible, right? Hopefully....maybe - LOL.

I'm curious, I know I'm not the ONLY one who thinks of flavors that would be good in cake. What flavors would YOU add? What about your kids? I'm sure theirs would be REALLY interesting - LOL. Play with it!!

As always, I'd like to hear YOUR experiences and help you navigate the wonderful world of Cakery Bakery!!

SCRATCH: That's the word of the Day!!!!

 
Soooo, this past Saturday, PLC and I went to the National Capitol Area Cake Show. She had a great time looking at all the cakes on display and I started plotting her first cake entry in two years :-)
 
As we were departing, we happened on a Demo being conducted by a World Famous area cake decorator and his team. Their work is awe inspiring and they've won numerous TV competitions, national/international awards and have been commissioned world round.
 
What he said during his pontification on his travels and accolades took me aback; He said, quote: "There's nothing wrong with Betty Crocker or Duncan Hines" WHAT????!!!!!! DID HE REALLY JUST SAY THAT??????? BLASPHEME, I thought!!!! Blaspheme!!!! Here is a man who I'm sure charges an obscene amount of money for his cakes, just on his Rep alone and he says that Box Cakes are OK???? REALLY???!!!  Now ,I must admit that a couple years earlier, I attended NCACS and tasted one of his cakes, it...was....in fact box and I was SORELY disappointed! I thought maybe by chance this was cake just for the show and not his Norm, But, to hear that he actually ENDORSES this horrific practice, has enraged me quite honestly.
 
What has alarmed me so, is that I take VERY seriously how my desserts are presented and the work I put into them. I am not at this point in my career a sculptor, but a DARE you to find many others with my flavor profile. I focus not only on flavor, but texture, aroma AND aesthetics. For me, there is nothing better than a dessert made from scratch. It's awesome to have a cake that looks so good that it deserves to be on the cover of a magazine, but if it TASTES like crap, ppl will remember that long after all the pictures have been taken.  Now, granted when I have desserts made by friends or family I do NOT expect that they are as hard core as me, nor do I judge their efforts, because, they TOO have put their hearts and souls into something delicious. I DO however, have different expectations for professional bakers and this is where my frustration lies.


In speaking with two fellow bakers, they echoed my sentiment. I did pause however to consider another perspective: Time. The time it takes to do Mis En Place (Everything in it's place, prep and measure ingredients can swell into thehours depending on the job.  Time...is...money and eliminating the 'scratch ' can save valuable time that could be spent on decorating and getting desserts out the door. I get it. When you are in big production, EVERY second counts. But, my heart STILL goes back to authenticity and presentation.

Many small bakeries, like myself, crave for more opportunity. So my prayer in this realm is to find a way to make 'Scratch' baking more equitable. "BRING THE SCRATCH BACK INTO BAKING" will be a new motto I will tote!!

For now my friends, HAPPY BAKING!!!!!!! HAPPY CREATING!!!

What are YOU'RE fears on baking from scratch? Let's talk about it :-) Let me help you down from the chemical ridden Boxed Mix Ledge!!!

I dream in flavor, flour and sugar!

OK - So I am FASCINATED really by the whole science behind cakery bakery! To the occasional baker, it doesn't occur the roles that flour, sugar, butter, eggs and milk play in baking a cake.

Well - I'm here to tell ya....ALOT! And HERE, in all this science, is where I REALLLY like to play! But - don't tell my secrets, shhhhhhh! Lets' keep them between you and I, ok?

Flour isn't just 'flour'. ALL flours serve a specific purpose and most of it comes down to one tiny little difference, gluten. Yup, that thing that many people are now allergic to eating.

Gluten, as relates to baking, serves to make dough elastic and to extract moisture in batters. So, if you are baking bread, you typically would use bread flour. Cakes, All-purpose or Cake Flour. Pastry Flour has the highest content of gluten and is used to make pastry dough used for tarts, pie crusts and such. The lowest amount of gluten is found in Cake Flour.

Now, think about how dense a tart is compared to a soft piece of cake, Angel Food cake for instance. Dense and chewy vs. Soft and melty-like. THAT my friends is gluten at work!

How sweet the sugar! Not only does it add the sweetness, but the water content in those liiiiitle grains of goodness help the cake brown! As the cake bakes, moisture is released, sugars rise to the top (hence the reason why the very top part of the cake is just a bit sweeter than the rest) and the edges begin to brown. Ahhhhhh - you may say....how very interesting! YES it IS interesting. Here's some MORE fun stuff; Did you know that brown sugar is really just white sugar that has molasses added for taste and color? YUP! It has Noooooooo added health benefits! Sugar in the raw or 'natural' sugar however, is a different story.  It is not as produced as white sugar and leaves a bit of the natural molasses from the sugar cane. The granules however are larger than white sugar, so they don't break down in the same manner and that doesn't bode well for a delicious balanced cake.


One of the things that typically happens to dry cakes is....overbeating! However, the more a batter or dough is worked, the more dense and dry it becomes. You would think that a cake batter should be beat for minutes on end to make sure all ot the ingredients are properly incorporated. Alas, no!!! That is actually COMPLETLY WRONG.. So STOP DOIN IT!!! You only want to beat a batter to incorporate the ingredients. On their own, they will become cozy with each other and eventually form one beautiful, fantabulous dessert!

Ahhhh Eggs! THE most versatile ingredient! Eggs are wonderful because the have like a ga-zillion uses! Let's use the tangy delicious Lemon Meringue Pie for an example. To make the Lemon Curd, you use only the yolk portion of the egg and to make the meringue, only the white can be used. How ingenious!!

Everything is better with butter, right? RIGHT??? And, the more fat in the butter, the better. So, having said that, as in many things, store brand ain't the best brand! They contain more water and less fat than competitors. I will say, however that I have noticed Land O' Lakes is a heap bit lighter than it used to be.......hmmmmm. Butter is primarily responsible for the moist texture in cake.

Milk - Mooooooooooo!!!!!! Milk is another producer of fat. But, is it enough to make a masterful, wonderfully moist, highly praised and drempt about cake? NOPE...Not in MY book it ain't. Things just aren't produced the way they used to be...PERIOD.  Maaaaaaany years ago, dairy products were delivered FRESH from the farm and full of all that goodness the animals produced. Now, with mass production and economy, EVERYTHING is watered down and pumped full of chemicals.

This is one reason why you see recipes using things like mayonnaise, yogurt, pudding and applesauce ingredients to add moisture. MY solution however is a tad bit different.

So, what DO I do? Well - I play with my flours, milk and butter! I adjust them all to ensure a lower level of gluten development and higher level of moisture content. I also don't overbeat my batter!

Cakery Bakery at it's finest!!!! Don't you feel like a scientist now?? LOL. Or is your head just spinning around going.....uuuummmmm....what did she just say?? LOL. Either way, NOW you know....TRULY what goes into those yummy bites of deliciousness! Well - at least from a scratch baking perspective. I don't believe that box cakes are real, so don't even get me started down THAT path!

Let's make this a discussion, shall we? What are YOUR experiences or questions about Cakery Bakery? Do you have or WANT to have as much fun as do I? Are ya scared of the mixer or oven? Let's talk about it!!

Welcome to my 'sweet' brain!

Sometimes Sweet....Sometimes Savory and Sometimes.....Bitter

So...inherently this post is not about desserts, well maybe a bit of dessert stuff will be thrown in here and there - LOL.

Life, as we all know can be sooooooo......soooooo  very sweet! The laughs, giggles, hugs and blessings that make everyday feel like it's a perfect summer day when all the flowers are in bloom, dreamy white clouds lazily float by and you lay in the warmth of the day trying to imagine what shapes the clouds are making.

For sometime however, my days have been more snowy than sunny and the clouds have been more ominous than dreamy....literally and metaphorically!  WORST....WINTER....EVER!!!!!!!

God in his awesomeness has though given provision, clarity, love and a TON of hugs and kisses, which has made the snowy days feel at times, like summer. For THAT AND His Grace and Mercy, I am eternally grateful!!! I DO believe that all.....ALL things are intended to work together for the good! NO matter HOW dark, cloudy and down right ugly life can become.

Many of us who are of some form or other spiritually connected, particularly us Christians speak of a 'Hell' that we are experience at times in our lives. "Pray for me Saints, The Devil is Busy", is a theme that resonates through many a church on Sunday morning, or in the hallways of work or stores as we pass each other. MANY of us speak of an almost unbearable circumstance or set of circumstances for which we ask for prayer.

What we DON'T admit too often is....how...we...got there, or WHO put is in this Hell we speak about and we are slow to admit our own wrong doings or repeated offenses even AFTER we have been given a MULTITUDE of chances, outs, forgiveness and fresh starts.

Well, I have been TRULY in a Hell that seemed insurmountable...AND..... I'm the one who got me there! Yup - no longer ashamed to admit.....My shit don't smell like a flower garden! (Although, I would like to have thought it did).

Pretty daunting thing when you think about it! Admitting that through all the posts, the smiles, the laughs and pretty pictures, my feet was burnin' from the Hell I allowed myself to fall into.

Well DAMNIT - I'M TIRED OF BEIN IN HELL AND TIRED OF RESITIAVISM!!!!!!!! THIS IS SOME SHIT, Y'ALL!!!!

BUT.......SPRING is SPRINGING and I am embarking on new ventures and a new ME!!!! I will NOT in this post or in verbal utterance PROMISE to do ANYTHING  Fantasimal, Stupendance or otherwise High and Lofty OTHER THAN BE ME - authentic and wonderful.  THAT is (as I have been told) is good enough! Find the strength to stretch, search, do and BE who I am meant to be in this life.

Going on my Mom's recent theme 'No Expectations'. My addendum to that....Just follow authentically and with respect and reverence in the path I am supposed to follow, that is all.

This Hell that I have jumped into has TRULY been Life Altering! Got my Ass KICKED and brought back to reality. Along the way however, I HAVE experienced PROFOUND forgiveness, prayer, love and encouragement! THAT has made this hell a great bit cooler and extremey humbling.

So the Sweet...where is it? It's coming!!!!!! SOON, I pray! Soon! Nowhere to go from here, but up. There really isn't a lower down to reach.

Is there fear? Ummmm...maybe, but (talking to myself now), I need to move through it with strength. I am by nature a risk taker....blindly at many times and calculated at others (more the former than latter). So, now in moving out of this hell, I look forward to seeing the pictures that occur. The ones that I CAN look at and say...I'M HAPPY! This is a picture I like! No fear behind it, no angst, just a Happy Me.

So - no this post is not inherently about desserts and my adventures with them, but maybe in part it is as well; because while I have been in this hell, I have created the most amazing desserts to date! I have had some projects that this time last year would've caused me to turn into a Mad Woman, yet somehow I found the hutzpah to do them beautifully and without stress. All things - ALL things working together for the good! To find the strength to commit, to do and deliver. Unapologetically and Professionally, deliver what I would deem as MY best. This I believe too, is a part of the many lessons I am learning.

OY - The Sweet, Savory and at times, bitter of being a grown-up! There is a great deal of relief in coming out of this hell; Looking honestly at myself and saying....This is ALL ON YOU, BOO! Not pointing at others for the hell and admitting to my loved ones, I did this, I'm sorry (for the millionenth time) and praying, trusting and believing, this hell....I will never see again.

I lean now on a prayer someone prayed for me....My latter shall be better my former!

I'm seeing Stripes!!!!!!

MY FIRST ZEBRA STRIPED CAKE!!!! WOO HOO!!!! My Sister-in-law Jenai graduated HS and for her party, she wanted a pink Zebra cake. One tiiiny little thing...I'd NEVER done Zebra stripes, sooo there was just the tinsiest bit of learning to do - LOL. Soooo a few days before I started the cake - I YouTubed Zebra Striped Cake and up popped a WONDERFUL and short video tutorial! EXTREMELY helpful!!! THANK GOD for the Internet. 

The two tiers are different flavors - bottom - Red Velvet..top - Black Forest (Chocolate with a cherry ceneter) The icing for the Black Forest was among THE best I've EVER done!!!! It was an Italian Buttercream made with Chocolate Curacao liquer, milk chocolate and a bit of espresso - DEE-FRIGGIN-LI-CIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG - I don't usually get geeked over my desserts because I am admitted perfectionist, but DAAAYUM!!! The combination was just incredible!!!!

Of course, no new venture is free of problems - LOL.  The ones I experienced with this cake were ensuring the bottom of the tiers were done right, avoiding collapse and a stubborn cake that wouldn't come out of the pan!!!!

Challenge No. 1 - The Red Velvet cake said 'NO - I'm NOT coming out of this pan! I DON'T WANNA get ate up'? Sooooo after careful use of a rubber spatula - out it came.....in TWO pieces....EACH PAN!!! I'm noooooot quite sure what happened! Maybe I didn't spray the pan enough - not quite done...blah blah blah. The BEAUTY however is that, I don bin down this road before, so my panic was averted :-). As an aside - you NEVER know what goes on behind the bakery curtain. There are 10 million calamities - ALWAYS. But Bakers are Doctors essentially and by the time we're done fixin stuff - ya'd never know there was ever a problem :-). Thank God for the lessons, So...I fixed it  and NO one is the wiser - well - till NOW of course - LOL.

Challenge No. 2 - I had TWO shades of pink fondant and NOT one. Crisis averted how? Thanks to God I have a crayola palette of food coloring :-). I simply put the two shades together...added some fuchsia and VOILA....HOT PINK!

Challenge 3 -  Making stripes! I think they turned out o....kaaaay. but I should've cut them thinner. The process for adding the stripes on the cake is quite simple actually....you roll out the base color, place the stripes on top and roll once again to make the stripes look like it's one piece. Rolling them thinner would've allowed the stripes to be a bit more distinctive.  I'm still proud of it as a first time run, but now I know what to do next time.

Challenge No. 4 - My Arch Nemesis to this point!: Fondant!!!! Fondant is NOT the easiest of mediums and can be downright disastrous. I again, didn't measure correctly and there were some areas of concern on the bottom of the cakes.  They weren't able to be fixed by stretching the fondant because it was already pretty thin. So - Thank God for decorative trim :-)

Challenge No. 5 - Weight, Construction and Delivery Time - OY! The bottom was Red Velvet and top Black Forest; Different weights. The filling for Red Velvet is just cream cheese icing and Black Forest has Cherries and Icing. Stacking them isn't the issue per se, but weight CAN be if the bottom tier is not properly doweled. Doweling a cake means that you insert wooden sticks (called dowels) in the cake, usually clock wise at the 12, 3, 6 and 9 positions.  Depending on what's going on top, will determine: how many you actually need, how far apart they should be placed and the thickness of the dowels. The last step in doweling a cake is that once you've got all the tiers stacked, you take one long dowel (the exact length of the cake), sharpen the end and stake the sucker straight down the center like you're staking Dracula...hard and fast - LOL! This helps ensure the tiers don't fall off :-)

Here's where I could've made a better choice.  I should've cut the dowels about 1/8 in. taller and maybe a bit thicker dowel would've helped. The OTHER thing I could've done, using the same dowels, is wait till the next day to stack them, after they'd been refrigerated overnight. What happened was that even though we drove with the AC on pretty high and immediately put it in the fridge when we arrived at our destination (an 1 1/2 hour drive....with the sun beaming on the car), it still sank just a bit.  Nobody but me really noticed, but I noticed and that means...it's a problem.

So what went REALLY well were the flavors!!!! I have a new secret weapon for my cakes to make them even richer than before :-). The Red Velvet was probably the best I've made and the Black Forest  - WOOOOOWSERS is all I can say!!!!!! Deep....Rich...Chocolate with a hint of cinnamon. Maraschino Cherries cooked down with Barados Sugar in the Raw and Kirsch Liqueur, and the icing.....hold on to your hat!  Milk Chocolate Italian Butter Cream made with Chocolate Curasao Liqueur and Espresso!  I could've slapped my OWN Mamma!!!!

I think I learn something new everytime I do a cake and I LOVE it!! Each time (prayerfully), there's something better and that's always a great thing!

I wish my chocolates were better, but alas, it's a learning process as well. :-)

What's MOST important is that the graduate, Miss Jenai loved it!! In the end, that's alll that matters to me :-)

Getting back up to speed!

So I've been on baking hiatus of sorts since Kendal was born and it....has......been TOUGH getting back into the swing of things!! By the time I get home with her, we play, eat dinner and then it's time for little girl to go night, night. I MYSELF, am all tuckered out by that time! Needless to say, getting back in the kitchen has been quite the challenge.

When I was pregnant, I just KNEW I'd quickly get back up to speed after delivery; I had this master schedule in mind and everything would be beautiful!  HA! I didn't take into accout the energy I'd expend taking care of my princess! Getting up and trying to get TWO ppl dressed in the time I did ONE!  NOOOT!  Getting  her to bed successfully (that means no fussing in the first 15 mins after putting her in her crib), cleaning up after her, and then trying be productive with MY goals has been a bit like climbing Mt. Everest!

Needless to say, Sweetly Savory has been on the shelf for a while.  But, I'm ready to pull it off, blow the dust away, put on my Chef coat, crack my knuckles, turn on the oven and get back to being creative!! This, for me will be NO simple task and I give a rousing standing ovation to Mothers who hold down careers, take care of families and STILL successfully pursue other time consuming passions! These women are my SHEROES!!!

I have prayed and hoped that God would help me move forward one cupcake and truffle at a time. It is time and Christmas Season proved that my hypothesis is correct! I baked oooooooohhhhh over 1000 cupcakes since Mid-December, DOZENS of chocolates and a few cakes - LOL. It is time!

I'm also ready to stretch my writing muscles and start blogging and writing more often. I would LOVE to write a column for a magazine newspaper. Maybe I could do some travel food writing; I could start with Barbados or Italy :-)

This being a new Mommy is TOUGH, but experiencing the world through her is THE most awesome thing ever!!!! Watching her particularly with food is worthy of a book in and of itself! She's a girly girl eater! LOL; She doesn't just pick it up and say...'oh...this must be food'. NO - she MUST hold it herself, inspect it and THEN taste it.  If it ain't up to snuff...OUT it comes...like a polite 'pardon me, but blech!  this is not to my liking'! If it's something she likes, weeellll then, we get an eyebrow raise, maybe a smile and DEFINITELY a whine and reach for more. With the added look of...'Heeeeey....I want Moooooore. Come Oooon, no faaair!

As a baker, one of the things I TRULY look forward to with her is, of course, cooking and baking. I TRULY hope she has a big sense of kitchen curiosity! I have visions of her cracking her first egg and beating batter; getting her hands covered in flour and creating her first bread. Seeing the look of satisfaction on her face as she presents her first cookie or cupcake! Like most parents, I want her to be and do whatever she wants. Alas, there is that place in my heart for the kitchen - LOL.

I am TRULY praying for a banner year with Sweetly Savory.  I'd love to go more in depth with chocolates. I dunno, maybe I'll become a World-Class Chocolatier! :-). 

There aren't many classes offered country wide, but I've found two; One in Chicago and the other here in MD.  I will do some more investigating, but I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE  to go and really roll my sleeves up and become great at chocolates.  I REALLY would also love to have a guitar (an instrument used to perfectly cut chocolates and candy - not the one you play - lol), but their rather expensive...so maybe there's a fairy chocolate person somewhere :-) (batting eyes...coyly smiling).

This getting back to me thing is quite honestly one of  the toughest things I have EVER had to do and I have a TON of work ahead of me.  I wish (like all of us - LOL), that I could be the recipient of a financial windfall, take a month to get stuff back in line and then start fresh with a clear head, renewed spirit and hands ready to work!

So what WOULD that look like? Well - I'd put allll my passions together into one BEAUTIFUL career!  The chef, interpreter, traveler AND writer would be stirred together with some Barbados sugar, Madagascar Vanilla and Cinnamon Bark; Poured in a souffle pan; Baked to perfection and served En Masse for the world to enjoy! THAT would be me!

I am reminded by my favorite quote: "God can dream a bigger dream for you...far beyond anything You can imagine' - Oprah.

OK - God, there's mine....what's yours?

The great 'Chicken and Waffle' quest.

Marriages are interesting; Two people with different backgrounds, quirks and idiosyncrasies come together and say  "OK - this is it! It's just you and me baby! Till death do we part, either by natural causes or Iron Skillet!" Often times, individual likes and dislikes become fodder for disagreement and anguish. There ARE times, thankfully that these individuals share some commonalities and these shared pleasures become reason for travel, experimentation and great conversation.

Such is the case with us! WE....LOVE.....CHICKEN AND WAFFLES!!! (CW) If I asked my husband Herb what is ultimate comfort food would be, he'd no doubt say..."Chicken and Waffle". We should probably have bumper stickers that say "I Brake for Chicken and Waffles".

Now let's get something clear from the beginning, we don't mean IHOP's version, which is Chicken Strips and Waffles - NOOOOO...SO not acceptable. TRUE CW can ONLY be enjoyed at small individually owned establishments and cooked by Chefs who KNOW the history of CW and play within the guidelines of this treat.  The theory here follows the same for Red Velvet Cake. ANYBODY who thinks it's Chocolate Cake with Red Food Coloring is just WRONG and needs to be seriously schooled and/or whooped!!!!

Historically speaking, there are a few schools of thought regarding the inception of both CW and Red Velvet. Interestingly enough, both histories are steeped in cultures from both above and below the Mason/Dixon Line! (Hmmm...maybe these were causes for the Civil War - LOL).  Some say Red Velvet is a product of the Waldorf-Astoria hotel in NYC and many claim it's a Southern tradition in which most recipes are secret and only passed down orally. I promise you though, if you go to ANY southern family reunion and bring your version, it better be right because your survival in that family may be hinged on your prowess! Particularly if you're trying to MARRY into the family. Thank God mine was well received!  We may not have my little cupcake if I'd jacked it up! 

I have, for a few years have been trying to create the perfect Red Velvet cake. There's a recipe in my book, but alas, that iteration is no longer good enough. I think now I have a good profile and formula for the crimson delight, but, that could change.

I digress! Back to CW!!! SO....many people are familiar with Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. They became famous in the 70's and 80's for bringing this dish to widespread popularity. Kinda like Arnold Palmer with the 1/2 Sweet Tea 1/2 Lemonade.  HE didn't invent it by a LONG shot! But he sure did make it famous! Gladys Knight also had a version of CW. Both places serve it the way it's SUPPOSED to be served!  Bone-in fried chicken atopor alongside a waffle. According to Wiki....CW was created by Slaves as a special treat on the rare ocassion they received poultry scraps from their masters and usually served for Sunday morning breakfast. That certainly does seem to still be the case in Southern African American culture.  Anytime you say CW....hearts race, eyes get big and folks jump!

Enter Herb and I! Our love for CW truly is steeped in tradition and a desire for gooood ole fashioned comfort food!  We are ALWAYS on the look-out for CW! Especially here in DC. You'd think that since we're below the Mason Dixon Line, there'd be places aplenty!!! But, alas, NO!  Many places have fallen short of our expectations and we've left many a place slamming our napkins down and decreeing "Welp...scratch THIS place off this list.....NEXT!!!"

That is....until....one FINE Saturday morning...August 18, 2012 in fact. While in Durham, NC we were sightseeing and foraging for food before preparing for his cousin's wedding.

Picture it....He's driving....I'm riding, taking in the sights and talking on my cell phone when on the left....I see it...a sign bearing: "Dame's (Almost) World Famous Chicken and Waffles". Immediatley, we pull into a parking lot, not DARING to pass up an opportunity to have CW! Especially in NC! He puts our name on a looong list.  But we don't care and I pass time in a boutique next door. 

FINALLY, it's our turn. We're seated at this wonderful table and admiring the restaraunt's decore. I open the menu and begin to salavate! Rather than boasting 100% pure maple syrup for the waffles (which, is my favorite), the boast 'shmears'. Butters infused with wonderful flavors like Apricot/Peach and Orange Honeycomb.  My eyebrows raise in intrigue as I further read their offering of Panko breaded chicken breast served with Creme Whiskey Sauce. Wha..wha...WHAT??!!! You're KIDDING??!!

Then....my eyes begin to well up as I read "Pick your waffle flavor": Classic, Sweet Potato, Gingerbread. *sniff...sniff* Say it ain't sooo!!!

Our jaws DROP as we watch plates being  delivered to other customers.  Excitedly....we order.  Herb Classic Chicken and Waffles with a side of Macaroni and Cheese.  Me: Panko breaded chicken cutlet with whiskey cream sauce, Sweet Potato Waffle with Orange/ Honeycomb shmear, cheese eggs and grits!

As we wait, we laugh and joke as we play hangman and tic tac toe on the white paper on the table and I draw Kendal's name in an obvious display of missing her.

Our food has arrived!!!!!!

We damn near cry as we savor every bite. THE MACARONI AND CHEESE was THE BEST I HAVE EVER EATEN. And lemee tell ya, with THESE hips and my forty years of life...I've eaten ALOT of Macaroni and Cheese!  I tried to bribe and bat my eyes to get the recipe, but alas, even my smile and batting eyes were futile.  All I can say is that it was creamy, delicious and I'd drive ALLLLLL the way back to Durham, NC JUST for that macaroni and cheese!!!!!!

The waffle and shmear...sigh....There are NO words!!! Fan-ta-bu-lous!!!!!!!!! PERFECT in every way!!!! Served hot....thick....tongue poppin flavor and the shmear....OOHHHH!!!! Syrup on THAT waffle with THAT butter, would have been blasphemous!

FINALLY!!!!!!! We had arrived at Chicken and Waffle Nirvana!!!! (que heavenly music and opening skies)

I cried as I discover that my belly can't hold anymore and that I must take my waffle with me. I tried, but then I realized that in two hours, I must put on a pretty dress (that I'd NEVER worn) and sit comfortably through a wedding ceremony.

TRUE bliss was experienced that day!  Ture Bliss!  Our quest for delicious CW lives on, for sure, but atop our list now: Dame's (Almost) World Famous Chicken and Waffles in Durham, NC!!!!!!! Guy Fieri.....Road trip to Durham is required of you!!!!!

As an aside, I DID make it into my dress (whew) and Natalie and Ashley's wedding was beautiful!

The Sweetest Cupcake Ever!!!

WELL! It has been more than a year since my last post....and for good reason I might add! On December 14, 2011, at 10:09 pm, THE SWEETEST CUPCAKE EVER.....Miss Kendal Simone Seward was born! My beautiful little cupcake weighed 6 lbs. 3 oz. and was 19 3/4 ins. long. I also had the pleasure of becoming MRS. Kimberly Renee-Veney Seward on September 17, 2011...WHEW!!!! WHAT....A....YEAR!!!!

 

 

Giving birth to my daughter is THE greatest thing I've ever done in my life! For most of my life I feared that I would endure many calamities regarding pregnancy and delivery. I am SO honored to say that NONE of them transpired. I had a GREAT pregnancy and WONDERFUL delivery. I got my wish to do deliver her the old-fashioned way....push her out...shove her out.....waaaaay out! (Hommage to Bill Cosby - LOL)! I got to feel the greatest joy in the world - giving birth to another life. NOTHING in this world can even come close to how awesome that feels!

I look at her everyday, kiss her, hug her and Thank GOD for the blessing she is to me! She is now my greatest inspiration and best reason to ACT on my dreams. I have a dream so vivid that I can touch, smell and yes, TASTE it! It's a dream of running a business where not only are people recipients of delicious food, but they become creators of delicious food! I am not only a purveyor, but also teacher. I dream of writing more, doing more and being AMAZINGLY happy! I need this dream to be reality for us! For me, so that I can truly live my dream life and for her to see that she can do ANYTHING she wants. I need to be her most important example; And I intend to do so. I am Mommy after all - LOL and THAT'S what Mommy's do! Just as mine does for me! She inspires me with love, conviction, pusurverence and a candidness that corrects yet soothes. That's the Mommy I want to be for Kendal!

In THAT vein new flavors have sprung! New ideas and increased passion! For instance, KSS - my newest cupcake flavor that brings together lucious chocolate, spicy cinnamon and sweet caramel into one delicious bite! Then there's Lemon Loves Chocolate.....Rich chocolate cupcake filled with a sunny yummy meyer lemon filling and topped with a buttercream so lucious it melts not only in your mouth, but ushers in a bliss not often acheived by a dessert!

I'm also playing around with different flours and sugars so that I can mass produce cakes and not have to make the batter each time. I pride myself on making everything from scratch, so I need to find a way to mass produce my cakes using a mix that I concocte. One idea I have is to replace granulated sugar with powdered sugar. I tried this with not so good results. The cake was drier and a bit less sweet than my normal. But I was also using 6x confectioner's sugar instead of 10x. That might have made the difference. I intend to try again.

Something else I have been DYING to perfect is the buttercream in chocolates. I now have a theory. MAYBE it's one of the European buttercreams. Maybe Swiss...it's definetly not Italian, although it could be a variation. In any case, I have to also find a stabilizer (preservative) for them for shelving. Unless I intend for them to always be eaten within two weeks (as is the case with The Chocolate Box in St. Martin)

In regards to actually DOING my dream and not just dreaming, I recently got an opportunity to provide desserts to a local company once a month.  April was the trial month and I'm proud to say it was a success and I get to do it again this month!! YAAAAAY ME!

Now that I have my cupcake, planning and scheduling are crucial.  I've not been much of a scheduler in my life soooo...this is alll new to me  - LOL.  ANY great suggestion on mastering this would be greatly appreciated! I'm also in another new life event......an employee!!! WHEW! For the last 12 years of my life I've been a Freelance American Sign Language Interpreter which meant I could set my schedule any way I wanted, even though I worked a ton of hours, they were still on MY terms.  NOW, I'm going to the same place everyday. While I am SOOOOOOO glad for the MUCH needed opportunity, it's a bit of a foreign concept to me, but so far so great! This is a great opportunity for me to GET on a schedule and sticking with it! Way to go God for answereing a prayer.  He doesn't always answer them in the manner we expect, but rather in the manner we need!  It is comforting to know that there is a plan for my life even though my way may need to be re-directed at times.

The website is still coming along and I'm proud to say it is now LIVE!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!! . Book sales have been at ZERO - but Heck....I had a baby!!!! So I am looking to kick that up again As well as prepare for the next iteration. I don't have a title yet, but I know tons of ways I intend to improve upon the first one!

Excitedly, I look forward to all this newness in my life!  Being Mommy to my beautiful baby girl is almost MORE than I can fathom and everyday I hold her is the best day of my life.  KNOWING that my husband truly loves and supports me is truly one of my greatest blessings and having the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and do what I want is astounding. So....EXCITEDLY, NERVOUSLY and GLEEFULLY I put back on my white jacket, tie on my purple head scarf and shout: LET'S PLAY WITH FOOD!!!!

"It's easier to into Carnegie Hall than it is to temper Chocolate"

Truer words have rarely been spoken! It took me...oooo...hmmm about THREE days to complete my first chocolate box! But....in my small defense, I was working a full time schedule and had to work on them at night and on the weekends. One good thing is that there was no crying this time around - LOL. I did learn a ton though. Things that weren't taught in class (or maybe I missed).

Chocolate and bread are alot alike. They both are extremely sensitive to room temperature (ambient temperature), they are funny in the way they like to be touched (agitated) and sometimes they really wanna just be left alone.

In the case of chocolate, the first goal is to melt it to a particular temperature (105 for Dark and 98 for White and Milk). The heat MUST be low (this I just really learned - eek).; If not, some of the chocolate will heat too quickly, leaving un-melted chunks...not good. It also can't be stirred tooo much, otherwise you're over agitating the chocolate and it'll fold it's hands and say 'uh uh'...I don't WANNA play nice and it'll bloom. Blooming is a whooooole other topic that I'll address in a minute. So, you got low heat and you're not over agitating it, but you can't just leave it to melt....greeaaaat!


Next up....being poured on a marble or granite slab. Don't ask me why, I forgot! Something about the temperature again - LOL. If the slab is too cold, the choc won't get the chance to be agitated correctly and the cells won't align the way they need. What happens in that case? Bloom! That's what happens! If the room is too warm, the choc won't do what it needs and You Know What'll happen again! Ok...so now you're agitating away and it get's down to the temp you need (between 76-78)...now it gets poured back into the pot to re-join the small amount you should've left. After all that heating and beating, it needs a rest. So...you let it cool down to Mid 80's - 85 - 86 and now you can pour it in molds :-).



The loverly chocoloate gets poured into molds and allowed to rest briefly before being inverted to leave just a shell of chocolate. Once they're completely cooled, they can be filled; ganache, caramel, fruit puree...etc. They get to rest again to allow the fillings to get used to their new homes. This can be a short or long rest, depending on the fillings you use. Now to cap them off and that whooooooole tempering process occurs again. After they're capped and excess choc. wiped away, the'yre FINALLY ready to pop out of the molds and into my...I mean someones mouth! Pray they pop and most importantly, PRAY THERE'S NO BLOOM! The goal is to have beautiful shiny chocolates.





In this case of this box, there actually WAS some bloom...but no one will ever know! I performed majic on the little dears and no one was ever the wiser - LOL. As frustrating as this process can be, I REALLY do look forward to playing with chocolate. In the end, it's extremely rewarding to know that people enjoy them and even better that they're asking for more :-)

What I learned last year

Since my last post, I have had a whirlwind of a year!!!!! March, the book got finished. May, it was published. From then on, it seemed like I was off to the races!!! June was conference time for me and I sold quite a few books (yaaay)! July, my family's annual pig roast. August was TRULY family month! I went to three reunions! Both sides of my family and my Boyfriend's Dad's family. I met sooooo many ppl! I started school again in the latter part of August and simultaneously helped with my parents 25th vow renewal ceremony. For WHATEVER reason, I thought it was a good idea to take NINE credits......ummmmmm I ain't so smart all the time - LOL! From then on, it was MAD chaos!!!!! OH - I even had the audacity to start a business in November. I just really wanna know what kind of crap pipe I was smoknig to make me want to do allll of that!? I mean seriously...WHO DOES all of that AND maintains sanity?! I think I lost part of mine - LOL!

Somewhere though in the process of losing my mind, I confirmed and learned several things about myself. One of the more poignant things I confirmed is my inability to effectively manage multiple projects without stressing myself out. My prime example was the cake for my parents anniversary....and the chocolates I insisted on making as favors. Admirable goals! Executing them however was QUITE different - LOL.

This was to be my first wedding cake - so I was TRULY excited and honored that they gave me the opportunity. A note about wedding cake production: They're TOUGH! I was up to the challenge though. I know all the technical aspects and knew what to expect and how to execute it effectively. What I DIDN'T expect was the migraine and break-down that ensued while icing the cake. My parents wanted buttercream icing on the cake, not fondant and there are difficulties with both mediums. The other challenge was their desire for square tiers instead of round.

I did pretty well with all the prep work - baked all the tiers, torted (sliced them to make them even) and filled. Noooo problems whatsoever! Measured each tier to keep them propotionate; My ace-in-the-hole pastry-chef friend Mel had come to help and we got the dowels all perfectly measured and cut for the tiers and then came the icing!

We did the crumb layer for each tier and started on the final icing. It...did....not....go....smoothly. Mind you I've iced SEVERAL, SEVERAL cakes in the past with buttercream and have NEVER had the problem I did that night! We did each tier, stacked them....perfect! But when it came time to smooth out the tiers, it just wasn't happening. I was exhausted, frustrated and I got one of the biggest migraines ever. I cried and finally had to sit myself down. Mel was amazing! She really pulled it all together and helped get me through the crisis. The weight of all that I had going on really came to a head and I just couldn't keep it together.

About two - three weeks prior to that, I started on the chocolates....Disaster! They ALL bloomed! (it's gonna get a bit more technical here, so I'll try to be as clear as possible). Chocolates that are professionaly made are 'tempered'; Chocolates are melted to an exact temperature, then agitated to another temperature and then mixed with a portion of the chocolate that was intentionally left in the bowl and left to arrive at yet....another temperature - whew! It's a VERY delicate balancing act and what I later found out from a colleauge 'It's easier to get in to Carnegie Hall then it is to successully temper chocolate'. HA - thanks! I was taking a chocoloate class, but somehow that didn't adequately prepare me!

Anywho - after crying over the failure of that first batch, I re-grouped and started again. SUCCESS! During all of this, I also had those Dag on classes happening. Projects had to be developed, papers written....etc. So by the time I got to that pivotal point of smoothing out the cake, I was completley drained.

The next morning, day of the ceremony, I was wide eyed and bushey-tailed! Herb and I got the cake over to the site, I did the final decorations and the cake was BEAUTIFUL!!!!! The chocolates were done nicely and no one had any clue of the break-down I had the night before the ceremony.

This was October and the next two months, though not as emotionally draining, were pretty hairied. I officially started my business and STILL had to deal with school. Through TRULY the Grace and Mercy of God, I made it through the semester with 1 A and 2 B's! Not too shabby I'd say. But was that true success? For me, quite honestly, it wasn't. I had managed to get the grades, but I failed to get all that I could from the classes. Not having devoted my full attention to the material, I missed alot. I wasn't able to adequatly focus and I missed the opportunity to fully engage and pin-down my professors to get the help I truly needed. So, while I got the grades, I don't really feel like I earned them.

With allllll that drama going on however, I can HONESTLY say, I had one HELL of a year and I wouldn't change it for nuthin!

One of the biggest things that got reinforced was my tenacity and risk-taking attitude. I don't give up easily and never do I go down without a fight. I'm (postively and negatively) stubborn and I love it (well - most of the time anyway - LOL).

It's taken me a while to get back into the swing of things and start feeling like I'm actually swimming and not drowning. I'm getting there step-by-step. I still have my procrastination, un-organization and fears to deal with, but I have faith that I'll be fine. This post is my most revealing; Sometimes when we reveal our fears we take away their power to overtake our lives. My fear is that what I have to offer; My food and the services I intend to provide, will be shot down, unaccepted and disregarded as 'not good enough'. Eleven years ago I decided to become (without propoer training) an ASL interpreter. It was a VERY bold move on my part, but because of my tenacity and get up when you're knocked down attitude, I've been successful.

Now that I'm arming myself with knowledge for my passion, I am more confidant that what I have to offer is not only visually appealing, but delicious as well. I give my all when I cook/bake and I pray that all shines through.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. This process of starting my business is quite humbling, so THANK YOU for your continued support :-)

Next post.....SWEETLY SAVORY, LLC!!!!!!

Finishing the book!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Done!!!!!!!!! I can't believe after MORE than 4 years of work, tears, stalling, a crashing pc, lost data and just everyday life....It's done!

It feels like I just dropped about 20 lbs off my shoulders! I feel like I could cry a river, dance a jig, do a million cartwheels!!!

This is one amazing process. I never knew how much in me this would change; Didn't know that this is REALLY a big deal. I mean, it's just a book, right? Wrong - LOL. It's an extension of me. The part that people don't often see....my thought process, my feelings, my heart! To some it may seem trivial - write down some recipes that people like and sell em! But the issue initially with that is that these are MY recipes! Ones I've developed over the years and feel a certain vulnerability (if you will) in releasing them to the world. It's been my pleasure to cook/bake for family and friends and know that no one can make those special dishes for them like I can. I am...the holder of what they enjoy - LOL. And now people want me to just release them to the world like birds and let them fly!!!!

Getting through that bit of the manutia I think was the most difficult and I didn't get through it alone. It was TRULY my wonderful friends and family who reminded me that in truth NO ONE can make those dishes like me. That will never ever change no matter how explicit your recipe. It will still be....mine. That gave me the push I needed to jump that first hurdle.

Next was quantifying ingredients in a recipe. OY VAY!!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me!?? I don't know.....some a this and some a that, LOL! This is where I got the idea to just say...Here's the list of ingredients and here are some tips on making it. Make it Yours! Customize it to you and your diners' preferences. No recipe is written in stone. What a relief! That started the ball rolling on the theme of 'Playing' with your food. I'm SO glad that happened!

Next...the recipes had to be tested. Who better to test them than my audience?! Why? Because they're the ones who will be reading it. It's for them that I've used a specific format, so I want to know how it's received. That was the most fun :-) and I was soooo surprised at the responses. People REALLY did try things out and review them! How amazing! What a great push that was for me to know that I was still on the right track with the book!

Now that I'd had my fun with the testers, it was time to edit and do the layout. Let the stalling begin! There were times when I'd pick up steam and be on a true roll then...there were the times when I'd say...oh yeah...I'm supposed to be writing a book..hmmm...sigh...hmmm. Seemed like the times I stalled the most was when I began dating someone and my focus got erroneously diverted. BIG mistake. Not only did I lose sight of my goal, but I wasn't being true to myself....hmmmm....ALOT of lessons learned, ALOT of tears shed. I also couldn't quite honestly connect with the goal of the book anymore. WHY was I writing this book!? What the hell was I gonna do once it was done!? I previously had a 'plan' and all these wonderful ideas, but I lost sight of them. They quite honestly became more scary and daunting.

Fear is a very crippling thing! No matter how much support I had to go ahead and do it, no matter how many people said 'Oh I would just LOVE to take a class or learn how to do such and such', I couldn't get past the fear and inadequcy I felt. Strange for a person who would dare to do just about anything, go just about anywhere with no prior experience or knowledge.

The fear, distraction, low self-confidence all kinda just took a life of its own and finishing this book (which would catapult me into a new journey in life) seemed impossible.

HOWEVER, there is that thing called Faith. Jumping, so to speak into something and not knowing really where or if you'll land. And by admission, jumping into the unkown is truly one of my specialties - LOL. My faith was so thin you could floss your teeth with it! I cried (even now) because even though there is fear and doubt and inadequacy, I felt that God MUST know what he's doing and because I know this gift (whatever it is) truly is from Him, so I must continue.

True to how faith can manifest into reality, once I got through alllllll of that manutia....Things happened. I bought my house, lost some weight, discovered more of myself, fell in love (with a man who loves me as much as I love him!), lost more weight, remembered that God can dream MUCH bigger dreams than I can, had some more dreams that confirmed this is TRULY connecting now with who I am and believe myself to be in the future AND....FINISHED THE BOOK!

What a wonderful, teary, fun journey this has been! Now that it's done and sitting in the hands of the publisher, I'm praying all goes well and there are NO MORE edits! I am EAGERLY awaiting its publication! No matter the public response, I've completed the task I set out to do more than 4 years ago and I'm sooo proud of myself for seeing it till the end!

So I begin where I end; Armed with a new book, new dream and courage to continue on a journey of beautiful unknowns!

Golf Cake....

This was a fun cake! Not difficult and I was REALLY proud of my fondant! I still have alot of work to do on perfecting my work, but given the fact that the cake had curves, I did well. Usually curves and corners are more difficult to manipulate, but not this time! Woo hoo! It's a bit like trying to fit a pie crust over a cake; that would be about the consistency of rolled fondant.

The animal was supposed to be an homage to Caddyshack....a gopher. Wellll - I thought it was a mole, so I made a mole. OOPS - LOL. Have you ever seen a picture of a mole??!!! UGLY little suckers! And I have those things underground in my backyard??!! YUCK!!!!


Anyway, back to the cake. I came up with a new flavor name....the Obama flavored cake. 1/2 choc., 1/2 vanilla :-) - pretty cool, huh? Instead of just 'marble' why not Obama? LOL.

The mound that the mole came out of was made from the cake scraps when I carved it. That was pretty easy; I just mixed it with a little icing so it would hold it's shape and wala! A dirt mound was born! I tried to be as true-to-life as possible.

The sand trap was made from sugar in the raw that I ground into a fine powder, pretty neat, huh? Looks pretty real! People asked me if it was real sand, lol. The 39th hole represented the persons age. (it was for a surprise B-day)

I used just a classic buttercream to ice it (under the fondant) and it was received really well.

One of the many things I would like to improve is my speed. I take WAAAAY to long to finish a cake. They're always on-time, but I need to be able to move faster.

I also need a higher powered mixer (Hobart) so I can dye fondant without killing my wrists and shoulders. My fondant colors thankfully come out just as I want, but getting them there - WHEW! That's TRUE labor!

Although there were some things I would've done differently, I'm not beating myself up about this one, I'm really happy with the results :-). I took my time and REALLY paid attention to each step. I would also say that having the support of a WONDERFUL man was really great! I was up until the VERY wee hours of the morning finishing this and so was he. Just the fact that he was up while I was, made me feel really, really, really special! (Of course the fact that he got to taste the pieces that were carved helped - lol.)

Onto the next!

Finally blogging on the Topsy-Turvy project

Well - here it is! VERY late though I know in blogging about it. I contemplated what I write; Would I say....'Oh this was the best experience I've had' or 'I was scared, but I made it through'. After MONTHS of contemplating and procrastinating, I will (as I should anyway), be honest. VERY honest.

I will preface this by saying what some already know about me; I am a perfectionist. For good or bad, this is me; I accept and deal with it accordingly. Having said that, I quite honestly.....hated the results! I didn't do ALL of the work required to make this a success. Not that I conciously neglected it, but just plain forgot and wanted to kick myself in the end. What I forgot to do - MEASURE! That was the BIGGEST mistake. I didn't measure the layers to make sure they were in proportion to the other. The second layer (silver) was TOO big to go into the bottom. I should've done a 10 in. insted of 12 in. there were multiple problems with the fondant. The color was ok, but it cracked in several places. The stars and number 16 were HUGE and much too big for the cake. Again, measuring would've been my friend on this project. Lesson learned. It's over...done with....gone!


Now that I've gotten that off my chest - LOL. What I LOVED was the challenge. So yes, I him and haw and moan and groan, but in the end, you can't REALLY grow if you don't make mistakes and learn from them, right? I wanna do it again. The perfectionist in me has to get it right :-)

The texture of the cake and flavors were great! The buttercream was ooooooo so creamy and delicious!!! There were other things I saw that I could've improved, like you know when you get a slice of cake and on the edge where cake meets icing you see the very thin brown? That's the outside of the cake. Technically speaking it's where the sugars rise and brown (I know maybe TMI). Asthetically, a cake done properly won't have that layer and THAT my friends separates a good cake from a great cake :-)

Tiered cakes are already a beast, but the Topsy-Turvy can be like a beast mocking your attempts - LOL. Not only do the layers have to be measured and doweled correctly, but you have the added challenge of torting (cutting) them to a grade and cutting a circle inside that grade just big enough for the other layer to fit. I didn't do this so well - lol.

Many times during this project I said to myself 'Am I TRULY crazy', 'Why is it that you HAVE to bake cakes'? This truly does require alot of patience in the beginning. Just like mastering anything else; It requires, commitment, focus and extreme focus on detail. As much as I've complained about this and many other projects, in the end, the recipients were happy. Very pleased in fact and proud that I attempted the feat. It is very difficult to be proud and satisfied when you know you could've done better. But it does give me what I need to do better. The answer to my question...I REALLY do dream about cake design, flavor, color. I really DO love conquering difficult tasks, no matter how much I whine and cry. I really do love seeing the looks on others faces when I do something great or unexpected. Sometimes when I see or taste a cake, I honestly, honestly do think in the back of my mind 'I can do better' or ooooooo 'How'd they do THAT?!' And, when I hear of someone paying someone else for a cake I think, 'I wish they'd asked ME to do it'

Perfection is a goal. Sometimes a very high and lofty goal, I admit, but a goal none-the-less. My challenge, my big challenge however is to truly, truly do my best. Accept that things will not always be perfect and to move with the mistakes and anticipate them rather than be surprised by them. Mitigate the angst and disappointment and learn better how to adjust through the tasks.

So now what? Onto the next challenge! Better prepared and more relaxed! Ommmmmm...Ommmmmm....Ommmmm (chanting while in a yoga position - lol)

The Topsy -Turvy Project

OK - I'm skurd!!!!! I have a project due early October. It's a Topsy-Turvy cake. What's topsy turvy? Well - it's like oh, I don't know, The Grandmother of all cakes!!!!!!!! Think tea-party scene in Alice and Wonderland or Dr. Seuss balancing a whole bunch of ill shaped - non-proportionate stuff on a cane - THAT'S a Topsy-Turvy.....when it looks like it's all gonna just tumble and fall!

It's an archiectual conquest so to speak - EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! But I'm brave! I can do this. That or I found a crack-pipe somewhere! Can someone please tell me WHY I decided that I wanted to be a pastry chef again, I forget! I'm heading into Ace of Cakes territory - OH MY GAWD!!!!!! Who can make cakes like him?! No one but HIM - that's who! LOL

I realize that I am rambling - so please forgive my rant. But if you hear cries - or see chunks of hair - you'll know - it's me.

As skurd as I am of this latest challenge, I'm also SO very excited to see how it will all turn out. I mean seriously, this is a cake of epic proportion (in my mind anyway). I won't make light of it, it's a challenge. Back in June I made a cake that looked like an ashtray and cigars. That wasn't too difficult, but I also knew after I had done that, that it would open me up to other architectual challenges. Well - here it is! That was a cupcake in comparison! It will take me about a week to complete - yes a week!

The design hasn't been done yet, but sparing you ALL of the details, each component of the project takes significant time. The embellishments MUST be done way in advance so they can dry and the final day will take me about 5 hours to complete - give or take a couple of hours. Fondant has to be dyed and that takes a bit of time to do.

OK - I actually feel better having vented! Thanks for reading :-) Trust me - there WILL be more posts of topsy-turvy rant over the next several weeks. I'm REALLY looking forward to completing this project and I will definetly post pics :-)

Yours covered in fondat!

Too much Chocolate????

Is it possible to have too much chocolate? Depends on who you ask. Most women will say abso-poso-lutely NO! BUT if you ask a baker (ie....me the perfectionist and perpetually nervous), yes. Paarticularly when you add a WHOLE cup too much - LOL.

I'm actually not a chocoholic by any means. I'm admittedly more of a choco-snobo. I'm one of those rare people who doesn't like Oreos and doesn't crave 'The Great American Chocolate Bar'. I like REALLY, REALLY good chocolate; More than eating, I LOVE playing with chocoloate. Something about it's complexities, its many different forms, all the ways it can be used, the different flavors that enhance its depth.

My favorite chocolate to eat thus far is by a guy named Jacques Torres - mrchocolate.com. He owns chocolate shops in NY (Jacques Torres Chocolates). The store on Hudson street (Soho area) is the factory. This dude MAKES HIS OWN CHOCOLATE FROM THE BEANS!!!! They even let you see the process in the Hudson Street store and he's quite often there working. I've been to the store once, didn't see him though - booooooo! I cannot even begin to say how exciting this is for me. I mean come on, making the chocolate FROM the beans and turning it into luscious gloriousness! WHAT a rush!

Back to the question at hand :-). Last night I joined some girlfriends for a get-together. One of our friends is moving back to her home town and we wanted to show her some love. It was my last minute task to bake a cake. So for sake of time, I opted to do cupcakes. Hot Chocolate to be exact. What makes them hot is the bit of cayenne. I know, I know, wierd, right? WRONG Dee-li-cious-ness!!!!! It's got just a bit of kick. In previous versions I've used a carmel-rum icing - YUM-EEEEEEE! Due to my persnickity-ness about chocolate, it's taken me years to find the perfect recipe. I believe I'm just about there with the one I currently use.

So....I get home, get all my ingredients together, measure every thing to the gram, mix the batter and.......hmmmm...why is my batter so thick? Like brownie batter...hmmmmm...let's look at that recipe - what did I do wrong? The recipe said 2/3 cup Cocoa powder...my eyes saw 1 2/3 cup - YIKES!!!!!!!! Fearing a disaster and not having the knowledge to repair it and bring it back from the thickness of it all, I baked a tester - to me it was CRAP! (of course if you ask my Mom, I say that about almost everything and it always turns out fine) It wasn't the right consistency, MUCH too rich, NOT moist enough and just plain yucky! To my boyfriend, it was fine and he said that the cream cheese icing would balance it all out anyway. So I feign my perfectionism and take them to the get-together.


As with most close knit gatherings, we stayed mainly in the kitchen....laughing.....talking and mostly eating. Our friend's leaving was being comforted by our sisterly love and foods that bind us; GREAT mac and cheese, smack yo-mamma cornbread, Jamaican patties and VERY chocolate cupcakes - LOL what could be better!? The cupcakes got devoured and all was better in my world :-) I'm reading Julia Childs book My Life in France and she discusses the idea of never apologizing for food mishaps...things happen - no explanation - they just do...move on! I'm still learning that lesson, but it is honestly soooooo very difficult for a perfectionist. But alas, I'm not perfect - SO moving on - lol. (kind of)

So to answer the question, can you ever have too much chocolate? NO! NEVER! Especially not when you have great friends and family who love you no matter how much you THINK you've debachled something! Chocolate is comforting, exhilierating, good for you (especially dark chocolate and a glass of red wine) and just plain fun!!

Food as I see (or taste) it :-)

My first post! How exciting! Making my thoughts and opinions publicly known - interesting.

Well - this blog will be as you may have guessed - is about my experiences with food! The good, bad and down right YUCK!

Concurrent with this blog, is my book and anxts about starting my own business. Do I have a business plan, not yet. But what I REALLY want to do is talk about food, make food, teach people about food and travel......about food :-)

For me, cooking and baking is a comfort, an art, a joy, sometimes frustration, but ALWAYS a way of showing love. I did not (unfortunately) get to hang on my matriarchs' apron strings, but during those times we were together, oh how I wish I could've stopped time. My first and last box cake was when I was 14. And I NEVER looked back.

I've ALWAYS been fascinated by the process of doing things. Not only with food, but life. No matter the frustation or pain in doing so, there is such a relief in knowing that I did something. I created it or I took it on head on. When that thing whatever it is, is completed, I...am....proud. In the vein of cooking/baking, I get to take something from it's very basics and attempt to make it more glorious, show off it's assests if you will.

This, the baking of a cake or cooking thanksgiving dinners, is how I show and a way I experience love.

It's really interesting how I came to that realization, I didn't always know that about myself. I was dating someone and one day made his favorite dinner (this was not the first time I cooked for someone, but the most poignant). I LITTERALLY worked and agonized all day on the meal. The meatloaf (which I used 3 different meats), the mashed potatoes, the vegetables AND the pecan pie. Now, I am SEVERLY allergic to all nuts, can't have 'em...they'll kill me. But because it was his favorite, I had no quoms about baking it. I just wanted everything to be perfect for him and I made enough food for him to have lunch for a week. Well, when he got to my place, dinner wasn't ready yet...he complained. When we finally did sit to eat.....he complained. He asked me why I'd made so much and I explained that I was making enough for him to have lunch for a week. When I gave him the pie.....he complained. He asked why I had made him alll that pie. He NEVER ONCE said Thank You. I....WAS.....HEART-BROKEN! I just wanted to curl up and cry.

After we broke up (much too long after that), I realized that this was a love language for me. I was exposing my heart and he rejected my love. It was a VERY valuable, yet completely hurtful experience. BUT knowing that about myself has given me so much power. I'm glad to say that I have someone now who not only accepts this foodie thing about me, but more than anyone else (except my parents) knows that it is my passion. Being in the kitchen for and with him is a true joy and I am so very blessed!

I say all of that to say, that I don't believe I'm the only one who feels that way or had that experience. Cooking is naturally nurturing and when it's rejected, it can be un-bearingly painful. I hope through these posts, you (whoever you are) will come to love or love again....food. Love food in all of it's beauty.

Food is as much cultural and familial as it is personal. We all have our ways of eating and experiencing food. For some it's a comfort and for others, it's merely a means to an end. Whereever people are on this pendulum, I am so very glad to be a conduit ;-)

Thank you sooo very much for taking the time to read my blog, I realize it is an investment.

In blogs to come, look forward to my own version of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, recipes success and disasters and of course - pictures and a video now and then.

HAPPY FOODING!!!!!!!

-Kimberly