What I learned last year

Since my last post, I have had a whirlwind of a year!!!!! March, the book got finished. May, it was published. From then on, it seemed like I was off to the races!!! June was conference time for me and I sold quite a few books (yaaay)! July, my family's annual pig roast. August was TRULY family month! I went to three reunions! Both sides of my family and my Boyfriend's Dad's family. I met sooooo many ppl! I started school again in the latter part of August and simultaneously helped with my parents 25th vow renewal ceremony. For WHATEVER reason, I thought it was a good idea to take NINE credits......ummmmmm I ain't so smart all the time - LOL! From then on, it was MAD chaos!!!!! OH - I even had the audacity to start a business in November. I just really wanna know what kind of crap pipe I was smoknig to make me want to do allll of that!? I mean seriously...WHO DOES all of that AND maintains sanity?! I think I lost part of mine - LOL!

Somewhere though in the process of losing my mind, I confirmed and learned several things about myself. One of the more poignant things I confirmed is my inability to effectively manage multiple projects without stressing myself out. My prime example was the cake for my parents anniversary....and the chocolates I insisted on making as favors. Admirable goals! Executing them however was QUITE different - LOL.

This was to be my first wedding cake - so I was TRULY excited and honored that they gave me the opportunity. A note about wedding cake production: They're TOUGH! I was up to the challenge though. I know all the technical aspects and knew what to expect and how to execute it effectively. What I DIDN'T expect was the migraine and break-down that ensued while icing the cake. My parents wanted buttercream icing on the cake, not fondant and there are difficulties with both mediums. The other challenge was their desire for square tiers instead of round.

I did pretty well with all the prep work - baked all the tiers, torted (sliced them to make them even) and filled. Noooo problems whatsoever! Measured each tier to keep them propotionate; My ace-in-the-hole pastry-chef friend Mel had come to help and we got the dowels all perfectly measured and cut for the tiers and then came the icing!

We did the crumb layer for each tier and started on the final icing. It...did....not....go....smoothly. Mind you I've iced SEVERAL, SEVERAL cakes in the past with buttercream and have NEVER had the problem I did that night! We did each tier, stacked them....perfect! But when it came time to smooth out the tiers, it just wasn't happening. I was exhausted, frustrated and I got one of the biggest migraines ever. I cried and finally had to sit myself down. Mel was amazing! She really pulled it all together and helped get me through the crisis. The weight of all that I had going on really came to a head and I just couldn't keep it together.

About two - three weeks prior to that, I started on the chocolates....Disaster! They ALL bloomed! (it's gonna get a bit more technical here, so I'll try to be as clear as possible). Chocolates that are professionaly made are 'tempered'; Chocolates are melted to an exact temperature, then agitated to another temperature and then mixed with a portion of the chocolate that was intentionally left in the bowl and left to arrive at yet....another temperature - whew! It's a VERY delicate balancing act and what I later found out from a colleauge 'It's easier to get in to Carnegie Hall then it is to successully temper chocolate'. HA - thanks! I was taking a chocoloate class, but somehow that didn't adequately prepare me!

Anywho - after crying over the failure of that first batch, I re-grouped and started again. SUCCESS! During all of this, I also had those Dag on classes happening. Projects had to be developed, papers written....etc. So by the time I got to that pivotal point of smoothing out the cake, I was completley drained.

The next morning, day of the ceremony, I was wide eyed and bushey-tailed! Herb and I got the cake over to the site, I did the final decorations and the cake was BEAUTIFUL!!!!! The chocolates were done nicely and no one had any clue of the break-down I had the night before the ceremony.

This was October and the next two months, though not as emotionally draining, were pretty hairied. I officially started my business and STILL had to deal with school. Through TRULY the Grace and Mercy of God, I made it through the semester with 1 A and 2 B's! Not too shabby I'd say. But was that true success? For me, quite honestly, it wasn't. I had managed to get the grades, but I failed to get all that I could from the classes. Not having devoted my full attention to the material, I missed alot. I wasn't able to adequatly focus and I missed the opportunity to fully engage and pin-down my professors to get the help I truly needed. So, while I got the grades, I don't really feel like I earned them.

With allllll that drama going on however, I can HONESTLY say, I had one HELL of a year and I wouldn't change it for nuthin!

One of the biggest things that got reinforced was my tenacity and risk-taking attitude. I don't give up easily and never do I go down without a fight. I'm (postively and negatively) stubborn and I love it (well - most of the time anyway - LOL).

It's taken me a while to get back into the swing of things and start feeling like I'm actually swimming and not drowning. I'm getting there step-by-step. I still have my procrastination, un-organization and fears to deal with, but I have faith that I'll be fine. This post is my most revealing; Sometimes when we reveal our fears we take away their power to overtake our lives. My fear is that what I have to offer; My food and the services I intend to provide, will be shot down, unaccepted and disregarded as 'not good enough'. Eleven years ago I decided to become (without propoer training) an ASL interpreter. It was a VERY bold move on my part, but because of my tenacity and get up when you're knocked down attitude, I've been successful.

Now that I'm arming myself with knowledge for my passion, I am more confidant that what I have to offer is not only visually appealing, but delicious as well. I give my all when I cook/bake and I pray that all shines through.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. This process of starting my business is quite humbling, so THANK YOU for your continued support :-)

Next post.....SWEETLY SAVORY, LLC!!!!!!