The Sweetest Cupcake Ever!!!

WELL! It has been more than a year since my last post....and for good reason I might add! On December 14, 2011, at 10:09 pm, THE SWEETEST CUPCAKE EVER.....Miss Kendal Simone Seward was born! My beautiful little cupcake weighed 6 lbs. 3 oz. and was 19 3/4 ins. long. I also had the pleasure of becoming MRS. Kimberly Renee-Veney Seward on September 17, 2011...WHEW!!!! WHAT....A....YEAR!!!!

 

 

Giving birth to my daughter is THE greatest thing I've ever done in my life! For most of my life I feared that I would endure many calamities regarding pregnancy and delivery. I am SO honored to say that NONE of them transpired. I had a GREAT pregnancy and WONDERFUL delivery. I got my wish to do deliver her the old-fashioned way....push her out...shove her out.....waaaaay out! (Hommage to Bill Cosby - LOL)! I got to feel the greatest joy in the world - giving birth to another life. NOTHING in this world can even come close to how awesome that feels!

I look at her everyday, kiss her, hug her and Thank GOD for the blessing she is to me! She is now my greatest inspiration and best reason to ACT on my dreams. I have a dream so vivid that I can touch, smell and yes, TASTE it! It's a dream of running a business where not only are people recipients of delicious food, but they become creators of delicious food! I am not only a purveyor, but also teacher. I dream of writing more, doing more and being AMAZINGLY happy! I need this dream to be reality for us! For me, so that I can truly live my dream life and for her to see that she can do ANYTHING she wants. I need to be her most important example; And I intend to do so. I am Mommy after all - LOL and THAT'S what Mommy's do! Just as mine does for me! She inspires me with love, conviction, pusurverence and a candidness that corrects yet soothes. That's the Mommy I want to be for Kendal!

In THAT vein new flavors have sprung! New ideas and increased passion! For instance, KSS - my newest cupcake flavor that brings together lucious chocolate, spicy cinnamon and sweet caramel into one delicious bite! Then there's Lemon Loves Chocolate.....Rich chocolate cupcake filled with a sunny yummy meyer lemon filling and topped with a buttercream so lucious it melts not only in your mouth, but ushers in a bliss not often acheived by a dessert!

I'm also playing around with different flours and sugars so that I can mass produce cakes and not have to make the batter each time. I pride myself on making everything from scratch, so I need to find a way to mass produce my cakes using a mix that I concocte. One idea I have is to replace granulated sugar with powdered sugar. I tried this with not so good results. The cake was drier and a bit less sweet than my normal. But I was also using 6x confectioner's sugar instead of 10x. That might have made the difference. I intend to try again.

Something else I have been DYING to perfect is the buttercream in chocolates. I now have a theory. MAYBE it's one of the European buttercreams. Maybe Swiss...it's definetly not Italian, although it could be a variation. In any case, I have to also find a stabilizer (preservative) for them for shelving. Unless I intend for them to always be eaten within two weeks (as is the case with The Chocolate Box in St. Martin)

In regards to actually DOING my dream and not just dreaming, I recently got an opportunity to provide desserts to a local company once a month.  April was the trial month and I'm proud to say it was a success and I get to do it again this month!! YAAAAAY ME!

Now that I have my cupcake, planning and scheduling are crucial.  I've not been much of a scheduler in my life soooo...this is alll new to me  - LOL.  ANY great suggestion on mastering this would be greatly appreciated! I'm also in another new life event......an employee!!! WHEW! For the last 12 years of my life I've been a Freelance American Sign Language Interpreter which meant I could set my schedule any way I wanted, even though I worked a ton of hours, they were still on MY terms.  NOW, I'm going to the same place everyday. While I am SOOOOOOO glad for the MUCH needed opportunity, it's a bit of a foreign concept to me, but so far so great! This is a great opportunity for me to GET on a schedule and sticking with it! Way to go God for answereing a prayer.  He doesn't always answer them in the manner we expect, but rather in the manner we need!  It is comforting to know that there is a plan for my life even though my way may need to be re-directed at times.

The website is still coming along and I'm proud to say it is now LIVE!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!! . Book sales have been at ZERO - but Heck....I had a baby!!!! So I am looking to kick that up again As well as prepare for the next iteration. I don't have a title yet, but I know tons of ways I intend to improve upon the first one!

Excitedly, I look forward to all this newness in my life!  Being Mommy to my beautiful baby girl is almost MORE than I can fathom and everyday I hold her is the best day of my life.  KNOWING that my husband truly loves and supports me is truly one of my greatest blessings and having the opportunity to roll up my sleeves and do what I want is astounding. So....EXCITEDLY, NERVOUSLY and GLEEFULLY I put back on my white jacket, tie on my purple head scarf and shout: LET'S PLAY WITH FOOD!!!!

"It's easier to into Carnegie Hall than it is to temper Chocolate"

Truer words have rarely been spoken! It took me...oooo...hmmm about THREE days to complete my first chocolate box! But....in my small defense, I was working a full time schedule and had to work on them at night and on the weekends. One good thing is that there was no crying this time around - LOL. I did learn a ton though. Things that weren't taught in class (or maybe I missed).

Chocolate and bread are alot alike. They both are extremely sensitive to room temperature (ambient temperature), they are funny in the way they like to be touched (agitated) and sometimes they really wanna just be left alone.

In the case of chocolate, the first goal is to melt it to a particular temperature (105 for Dark and 98 for White and Milk). The heat MUST be low (this I just really learned - eek).; If not, some of the chocolate will heat too quickly, leaving un-melted chunks...not good. It also can't be stirred tooo much, otherwise you're over agitating the chocolate and it'll fold it's hands and say 'uh uh'...I don't WANNA play nice and it'll bloom. Blooming is a whooooole other topic that I'll address in a minute. So, you got low heat and you're not over agitating it, but you can't just leave it to melt....greeaaaat!


Next up....being poured on a marble or granite slab. Don't ask me why, I forgot! Something about the temperature again - LOL. If the slab is too cold, the choc won't get the chance to be agitated correctly and the cells won't align the way they need. What happens in that case? Bloom! That's what happens! If the room is too warm, the choc won't do what it needs and You Know What'll happen again! Ok...so now you're agitating away and it get's down to the temp you need (between 76-78)...now it gets poured back into the pot to re-join the small amount you should've left. After all that heating and beating, it needs a rest. So...you let it cool down to Mid 80's - 85 - 86 and now you can pour it in molds :-).



The loverly chocoloate gets poured into molds and allowed to rest briefly before being inverted to leave just a shell of chocolate. Once they're completely cooled, they can be filled; ganache, caramel, fruit puree...etc. They get to rest again to allow the fillings to get used to their new homes. This can be a short or long rest, depending on the fillings you use. Now to cap them off and that whooooooole tempering process occurs again. After they're capped and excess choc. wiped away, the'yre FINALLY ready to pop out of the molds and into my...I mean someones mouth! Pray they pop and most importantly, PRAY THERE'S NO BLOOM! The goal is to have beautiful shiny chocolates.





In this case of this box, there actually WAS some bloom...but no one will ever know! I performed majic on the little dears and no one was ever the wiser - LOL. As frustrating as this process can be, I REALLY do look forward to playing with chocolate. In the end, it's extremely rewarding to know that people enjoy them and even better that they're asking for more :-)

What I learned last year

Since my last post, I have had a whirlwind of a year!!!!! March, the book got finished. May, it was published. From then on, it seemed like I was off to the races!!! June was conference time for me and I sold quite a few books (yaaay)! July, my family's annual pig roast. August was TRULY family month! I went to three reunions! Both sides of my family and my Boyfriend's Dad's family. I met sooooo many ppl! I started school again in the latter part of August and simultaneously helped with my parents 25th vow renewal ceremony. For WHATEVER reason, I thought it was a good idea to take NINE credits......ummmmmm I ain't so smart all the time - LOL! From then on, it was MAD chaos!!!!! OH - I even had the audacity to start a business in November. I just really wanna know what kind of crap pipe I was smoknig to make me want to do allll of that!? I mean seriously...WHO DOES all of that AND maintains sanity?! I think I lost part of mine - LOL!

Somewhere though in the process of losing my mind, I confirmed and learned several things about myself. One of the more poignant things I confirmed is my inability to effectively manage multiple projects without stressing myself out. My prime example was the cake for my parents anniversary....and the chocolates I insisted on making as favors. Admirable goals! Executing them however was QUITE different - LOL.

This was to be my first wedding cake - so I was TRULY excited and honored that they gave me the opportunity. A note about wedding cake production: They're TOUGH! I was up to the challenge though. I know all the technical aspects and knew what to expect and how to execute it effectively. What I DIDN'T expect was the migraine and break-down that ensued while icing the cake. My parents wanted buttercream icing on the cake, not fondant and there are difficulties with both mediums. The other challenge was their desire for square tiers instead of round.

I did pretty well with all the prep work - baked all the tiers, torted (sliced them to make them even) and filled. Noooo problems whatsoever! Measured each tier to keep them propotionate; My ace-in-the-hole pastry-chef friend Mel had come to help and we got the dowels all perfectly measured and cut for the tiers and then came the icing!

We did the crumb layer for each tier and started on the final icing. It...did....not....go....smoothly. Mind you I've iced SEVERAL, SEVERAL cakes in the past with buttercream and have NEVER had the problem I did that night! We did each tier, stacked them....perfect! But when it came time to smooth out the tiers, it just wasn't happening. I was exhausted, frustrated and I got one of the biggest migraines ever. I cried and finally had to sit myself down. Mel was amazing! She really pulled it all together and helped get me through the crisis. The weight of all that I had going on really came to a head and I just couldn't keep it together.

About two - three weeks prior to that, I started on the chocolates....Disaster! They ALL bloomed! (it's gonna get a bit more technical here, so I'll try to be as clear as possible). Chocolates that are professionaly made are 'tempered'; Chocolates are melted to an exact temperature, then agitated to another temperature and then mixed with a portion of the chocolate that was intentionally left in the bowl and left to arrive at yet....another temperature - whew! It's a VERY delicate balancing act and what I later found out from a colleauge 'It's easier to get in to Carnegie Hall then it is to successully temper chocolate'. HA - thanks! I was taking a chocoloate class, but somehow that didn't adequately prepare me!

Anywho - after crying over the failure of that first batch, I re-grouped and started again. SUCCESS! During all of this, I also had those Dag on classes happening. Projects had to be developed, papers written....etc. So by the time I got to that pivotal point of smoothing out the cake, I was completley drained.

The next morning, day of the ceremony, I was wide eyed and bushey-tailed! Herb and I got the cake over to the site, I did the final decorations and the cake was BEAUTIFUL!!!!! The chocolates were done nicely and no one had any clue of the break-down I had the night before the ceremony.

This was October and the next two months, though not as emotionally draining, were pretty hairied. I officially started my business and STILL had to deal with school. Through TRULY the Grace and Mercy of God, I made it through the semester with 1 A and 2 B's! Not too shabby I'd say. But was that true success? For me, quite honestly, it wasn't. I had managed to get the grades, but I failed to get all that I could from the classes. Not having devoted my full attention to the material, I missed alot. I wasn't able to adequatly focus and I missed the opportunity to fully engage and pin-down my professors to get the help I truly needed. So, while I got the grades, I don't really feel like I earned them.

With allllll that drama going on however, I can HONESTLY say, I had one HELL of a year and I wouldn't change it for nuthin!

One of the biggest things that got reinforced was my tenacity and risk-taking attitude. I don't give up easily and never do I go down without a fight. I'm (postively and negatively) stubborn and I love it (well - most of the time anyway - LOL).

It's taken me a while to get back into the swing of things and start feeling like I'm actually swimming and not drowning. I'm getting there step-by-step. I still have my procrastination, un-organization and fears to deal with, but I have faith that I'll be fine. This post is my most revealing; Sometimes when we reveal our fears we take away their power to overtake our lives. My fear is that what I have to offer; My food and the services I intend to provide, will be shot down, unaccepted and disregarded as 'not good enough'. Eleven years ago I decided to become (without propoer training) an ASL interpreter. It was a VERY bold move on my part, but because of my tenacity and get up when you're knocked down attitude, I've been successful.

Now that I'm arming myself with knowledge for my passion, I am more confidant that what I have to offer is not only visually appealing, but delicious as well. I give my all when I cook/bake and I pray that all shines through.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. This process of starting my business is quite humbling, so THANK YOU for your continued support :-)

Next post.....SWEETLY SAVORY, LLC!!!!!!

Finishing the book!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Done!!!!!!!!! I can't believe after MORE than 4 years of work, tears, stalling, a crashing pc, lost data and just everyday life....It's done!

It feels like I just dropped about 20 lbs off my shoulders! I feel like I could cry a river, dance a jig, do a million cartwheels!!!

This is one amazing process. I never knew how much in me this would change; Didn't know that this is REALLY a big deal. I mean, it's just a book, right? Wrong - LOL. It's an extension of me. The part that people don't often see....my thought process, my feelings, my heart! To some it may seem trivial - write down some recipes that people like and sell em! But the issue initially with that is that these are MY recipes! Ones I've developed over the years and feel a certain vulnerability (if you will) in releasing them to the world. It's been my pleasure to cook/bake for family and friends and know that no one can make those special dishes for them like I can. I am...the holder of what they enjoy - LOL. And now people want me to just release them to the world like birds and let them fly!!!!

Getting through that bit of the manutia I think was the most difficult and I didn't get through it alone. It was TRULY my wonderful friends and family who reminded me that in truth NO ONE can make those dishes like me. That will never ever change no matter how explicit your recipe. It will still be....mine. That gave me the push I needed to jump that first hurdle.

Next was quantifying ingredients in a recipe. OY VAY!!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me!?? I don't know.....some a this and some a that, LOL! This is where I got the idea to just say...Here's the list of ingredients and here are some tips on making it. Make it Yours! Customize it to you and your diners' preferences. No recipe is written in stone. What a relief! That started the ball rolling on the theme of 'Playing' with your food. I'm SO glad that happened!

Next...the recipes had to be tested. Who better to test them than my audience?! Why? Because they're the ones who will be reading it. It's for them that I've used a specific format, so I want to know how it's received. That was the most fun :-) and I was soooo surprised at the responses. People REALLY did try things out and review them! How amazing! What a great push that was for me to know that I was still on the right track with the book!

Now that I'd had my fun with the testers, it was time to edit and do the layout. Let the stalling begin! There were times when I'd pick up steam and be on a true roll then...there were the times when I'd say...oh yeah...I'm supposed to be writing a book..hmmm...sigh...hmmm. Seemed like the times I stalled the most was when I began dating someone and my focus got erroneously diverted. BIG mistake. Not only did I lose sight of my goal, but I wasn't being true to myself....hmmmm....ALOT of lessons learned, ALOT of tears shed. I also couldn't quite honestly connect with the goal of the book anymore. WHY was I writing this book!? What the hell was I gonna do once it was done!? I previously had a 'plan' and all these wonderful ideas, but I lost sight of them. They quite honestly became more scary and daunting.

Fear is a very crippling thing! No matter how much support I had to go ahead and do it, no matter how many people said 'Oh I would just LOVE to take a class or learn how to do such and such', I couldn't get past the fear and inadequcy I felt. Strange for a person who would dare to do just about anything, go just about anywhere with no prior experience or knowledge.

The fear, distraction, low self-confidence all kinda just took a life of its own and finishing this book (which would catapult me into a new journey in life) seemed impossible.

HOWEVER, there is that thing called Faith. Jumping, so to speak into something and not knowing really where or if you'll land. And by admission, jumping into the unkown is truly one of my specialties - LOL. My faith was so thin you could floss your teeth with it! I cried (even now) because even though there is fear and doubt and inadequacy, I felt that God MUST know what he's doing and because I know this gift (whatever it is) truly is from Him, so I must continue.

True to how faith can manifest into reality, once I got through alllllll of that manutia....Things happened. I bought my house, lost some weight, discovered more of myself, fell in love (with a man who loves me as much as I love him!), lost more weight, remembered that God can dream MUCH bigger dreams than I can, had some more dreams that confirmed this is TRULY connecting now with who I am and believe myself to be in the future AND....FINISHED THE BOOK!

What a wonderful, teary, fun journey this has been! Now that it's done and sitting in the hands of the publisher, I'm praying all goes well and there are NO MORE edits! I am EAGERLY awaiting its publication! No matter the public response, I've completed the task I set out to do more than 4 years ago and I'm sooo proud of myself for seeing it till the end!

So I begin where I end; Armed with a new book, new dream and courage to continue on a journey of beautiful unknowns!

Golf Cake....

This was a fun cake! Not difficult and I was REALLY proud of my fondant! I still have alot of work to do on perfecting my work, but given the fact that the cake had curves, I did well. Usually curves and corners are more difficult to manipulate, but not this time! Woo hoo! It's a bit like trying to fit a pie crust over a cake; that would be about the consistency of rolled fondant.

The animal was supposed to be an homage to Caddyshack....a gopher. Wellll - I thought it was a mole, so I made a mole. OOPS - LOL. Have you ever seen a picture of a mole??!!! UGLY little suckers! And I have those things underground in my backyard??!! YUCK!!!!


Anyway, back to the cake. I came up with a new flavor name....the Obama flavored cake. 1/2 choc., 1/2 vanilla :-) - pretty cool, huh? Instead of just 'marble' why not Obama? LOL.

The mound that the mole came out of was made from the cake scraps when I carved it. That was pretty easy; I just mixed it with a little icing so it would hold it's shape and wala! A dirt mound was born! I tried to be as true-to-life as possible.

The sand trap was made from sugar in the raw that I ground into a fine powder, pretty neat, huh? Looks pretty real! People asked me if it was real sand, lol. The 39th hole represented the persons age. (it was for a surprise B-day)

I used just a classic buttercream to ice it (under the fondant) and it was received really well.

One of the many things I would like to improve is my speed. I take WAAAAY to long to finish a cake. They're always on-time, but I need to be able to move faster.

I also need a higher powered mixer (Hobart) so I can dye fondant without killing my wrists and shoulders. My fondant colors thankfully come out just as I want, but getting them there - WHEW! That's TRUE labor!

Although there were some things I would've done differently, I'm not beating myself up about this one, I'm really happy with the results :-). I took my time and REALLY paid attention to each step. I would also say that having the support of a WONDERFUL man was really great! I was up until the VERY wee hours of the morning finishing this and so was he. Just the fact that he was up while I was, made me feel really, really, really special! (Of course the fact that he got to taste the pieces that were carved helped - lol.)

Onto the next!

Finally blogging on the Topsy-Turvy project

Well - here it is! VERY late though I know in blogging about it. I contemplated what I write; Would I say....'Oh this was the best experience I've had' or 'I was scared, but I made it through'. After MONTHS of contemplating and procrastinating, I will (as I should anyway), be honest. VERY honest.

I will preface this by saying what some already know about me; I am a perfectionist. For good or bad, this is me; I accept and deal with it accordingly. Having said that, I quite honestly.....hated the results! I didn't do ALL of the work required to make this a success. Not that I conciously neglected it, but just plain forgot and wanted to kick myself in the end. What I forgot to do - MEASURE! That was the BIGGEST mistake. I didn't measure the layers to make sure they were in proportion to the other. The second layer (silver) was TOO big to go into the bottom. I should've done a 10 in. insted of 12 in. there were multiple problems with the fondant. The color was ok, but it cracked in several places. The stars and number 16 were HUGE and much too big for the cake. Again, measuring would've been my friend on this project. Lesson learned. It's over...done with....gone!


Now that I've gotten that off my chest - LOL. What I LOVED was the challenge. So yes, I him and haw and moan and groan, but in the end, you can't REALLY grow if you don't make mistakes and learn from them, right? I wanna do it again. The perfectionist in me has to get it right :-)

The texture of the cake and flavors were great! The buttercream was ooooooo so creamy and delicious!!! There were other things I saw that I could've improved, like you know when you get a slice of cake and on the edge where cake meets icing you see the very thin brown? That's the outside of the cake. Technically speaking it's where the sugars rise and brown (I know maybe TMI). Asthetically, a cake done properly won't have that layer and THAT my friends separates a good cake from a great cake :-)

Tiered cakes are already a beast, but the Topsy-Turvy can be like a beast mocking your attempts - LOL. Not only do the layers have to be measured and doweled correctly, but you have the added challenge of torting (cutting) them to a grade and cutting a circle inside that grade just big enough for the other layer to fit. I didn't do this so well - lol.

Many times during this project I said to myself 'Am I TRULY crazy', 'Why is it that you HAVE to bake cakes'? This truly does require alot of patience in the beginning. Just like mastering anything else; It requires, commitment, focus and extreme focus on detail. As much as I've complained about this and many other projects, in the end, the recipients were happy. Very pleased in fact and proud that I attempted the feat. It is very difficult to be proud and satisfied when you know you could've done better. But it does give me what I need to do better. The answer to my question...I REALLY do dream about cake design, flavor, color. I really DO love conquering difficult tasks, no matter how much I whine and cry. I really do love seeing the looks on others faces when I do something great or unexpected. Sometimes when I see or taste a cake, I honestly, honestly do think in the back of my mind 'I can do better' or ooooooo 'How'd they do THAT?!' And, when I hear of someone paying someone else for a cake I think, 'I wish they'd asked ME to do it'

Perfection is a goal. Sometimes a very high and lofty goal, I admit, but a goal none-the-less. My challenge, my big challenge however is to truly, truly do my best. Accept that things will not always be perfect and to move with the mistakes and anticipate them rather than be surprised by them. Mitigate the angst and disappointment and learn better how to adjust through the tasks.

So now what? Onto the next challenge! Better prepared and more relaxed! Ommmmmm...Ommmmmm....Ommmmm (chanting while in a yoga position - lol)

The Topsy -Turvy Project

OK - I'm skurd!!!!! I have a project due early October. It's a Topsy-Turvy cake. What's topsy turvy? Well - it's like oh, I don't know, The Grandmother of all cakes!!!!!!!! Think tea-party scene in Alice and Wonderland or Dr. Seuss balancing a whole bunch of ill shaped - non-proportionate stuff on a cane - THAT'S a Topsy-Turvy.....when it looks like it's all gonna just tumble and fall!

It's an archiectual conquest so to speak - EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! But I'm brave! I can do this. That or I found a crack-pipe somewhere! Can someone please tell me WHY I decided that I wanted to be a pastry chef again, I forget! I'm heading into Ace of Cakes territory - OH MY GAWD!!!!!! Who can make cakes like him?! No one but HIM - that's who! LOL

I realize that I am rambling - so please forgive my rant. But if you hear cries - or see chunks of hair - you'll know - it's me.

As skurd as I am of this latest challenge, I'm also SO very excited to see how it will all turn out. I mean seriously, this is a cake of epic proportion (in my mind anyway). I won't make light of it, it's a challenge. Back in June I made a cake that looked like an ashtray and cigars. That wasn't too difficult, but I also knew after I had done that, that it would open me up to other architectual challenges. Well - here it is! That was a cupcake in comparison! It will take me about a week to complete - yes a week!

The design hasn't been done yet, but sparing you ALL of the details, each component of the project takes significant time. The embellishments MUST be done way in advance so they can dry and the final day will take me about 5 hours to complete - give or take a couple of hours. Fondant has to be dyed and that takes a bit of time to do.

OK - I actually feel better having vented! Thanks for reading :-) Trust me - there WILL be more posts of topsy-turvy rant over the next several weeks. I'm REALLY looking forward to completing this project and I will definetly post pics :-)

Yours covered in fondat!